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Men have nipples because everyone is a female until the Y chromosome kicks in. You were all girl embryos.” now you know.

I have often been told that wisdom begins when we realize that we know nothing.

HUMOUR

 A rich millionaire throws a massive party for his 50th birthday. During this party, he grabs the microphone and announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it.

"I will give anything of mine to the person who swims across that pool."

So the party continues with no events in the pool until SUDDENLY there’s a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened.

In the pool a man is swimming as hard as he can - fins come out of the water and jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going. The sharks are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and gets out of the pool, tired and soaked.

The millionaire grabs the microphone and says, “I am a man of my word. Anything of mine I will give: my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?”

Breathless the guy grabs the microphone and says, “Why don’t we start with the name of the jerk who pushed me in!”

HUMOR

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other,” Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?” 

"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great." "That’s great! And what was the name of the clinic?" 

Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn’t remember. 

Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, “What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?” 

"You mean a rose?" 

"Yes, that’s it!" 

 He turned to his wife, “Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?”

Negative people need drama like oxygen. Stay positive. It will take their breath away

Negative people need drama like oxygen. Stay positive. It will take their breath away

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