The world's a stage. We are all actors playing a role. Act on it.
The owner of a small deli was being questioned by an IRS agent about his tax return.
He had reported a net profit of $80,000 for the year.
"Why don’t you people leave me alone?" the deli owner said. "I work like a dog. Everyone in my family helps out, the place is only closed three days a year.
And you want to know how I made $80,000?”
"It’s not your income that bothers us," the agent said. "It’s these deductions.
You listed six trips to Bermuda for you and your wife.”
"Oh, that," the owner said smiling. "I forgot to tell you — we also deliver."
As Air Force One arrives at Heathrow Airport , President Obama strides out to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen.
They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London , where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They continue on towards Buckingham Palace , waving to the thousands of cheering Britons; all is going well.
Suddenly, the right rear horse lets out the most horrendous earth shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire . The smell is so atrocious that both passengers in the carriage, must use handkerchiefs over their noses. The fart shakes the coach, but, the two dignitaries of State do their best to ignore the incident.
The Queen politely turns to President Obama and says:
"Mr President, please accept my deepest regrets…. I am sure you understand there are some things that even a Queen cannot control."
Obama, always trying to be so “Presidential,” responded:
"Your Majesty, do not give the matter another thought… Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses.